Have you ever had a moment in your life when you know you have so much to do and yet you can’t bring yourself to do it? And the more time that passes, the more pressing the matter becomes… but because you know you look all that more worse for not having done it, you shame yourself by not doing it at all?
Well, the worst of deeds always starts with the best intentions…
I truly meant to blog and get all up to date.
I truly meant to keep my life together.
I truly meant to find myself in a better place than I am now.
In the end, as you can well tell my dear reader, I did not bring myself up to date. I sort of slid into a funk where I didn’t even go out of my apartment for days. I didn’t even speak with anyone aside from the calls I had to take as part of my job. Perhaps I did you all a grave injustice for not having reached out during this time of personal difficulty. I know how caring and loving all of you are. Through this blog I have made a great many friends and I know just how great you all are. But, call it vanity, I really just wanted to show the very best side of myself.
So the hours turned into days,
the days into weeks
and weeks into months.
I would like to say that I’m in a different place than where I was a year ago. For the most part I am. I wrapped up what was left of my Chemistry career, packed it up with the rest of my apartment and shifted to figuring out what could bring me real joy. I have not found the answer yet, but these past few months have brought me out of a financial hole as well as an emotional one. Mary Kay had to do with it, in part (Its hard to feel bad when you’re in the pink bubble and your skin looks so radiant ). Another part was that I stopped doing the same stupid things… since one cannot keep doing the same thing and somehow expect it to give us different results.
I’m going to now attempt to give a summary of the months you missed in as few posts as possible. It might make sense, but I can’t necessarily promise you that it will. So, what few readers that have remained, I hope this makes up for all the things that were lost.