So I keep having this moment of deja-vu. I keep seeing movies that I could have sworn I had blogged about but then… I do some searched through my blog entries and find that I haven’t. This was a sensation I experienced recently when I wrote about my love for the movie Fight Club. The Stalker has joked that my alternate personality must be another blogger who seems to create the entries on some alternate ass-kicking, explosive making site.
It must be.
Because I seriously feel like I’ve written these entries.
Guess I meant to and the ideas just stayed in my head. I do that sometimes. I write out entries in my brain but then I get distracted and never blog when I mean to and the entries stay in my head. I feel bad that I have not blogged immediately and so then don’t blog at all. I’m sure this happens to a lot of other people. Under ordinary circumstances, I think it’s perfectly natural for one to not blog everyday. One should try to blog as often as they are comfortable with.
However, I will have to say that 2011 feels like it’s meant to be primed as the year that I will embark on stepping out of my comfort zone. I’m not in PR and I’m learning to drive. For anyone who knows me, knows that these are two very huge steps for me. I didn’t really see my life being this way at this time last year. I won’t regret it either. Part of being out of my comfort zone and retraining myself into different habits is partly why I’ve decided to do post-a-day 2011. It sounds crazy, especially given my track record. I can maintain steady blogging for a few months and then suddenly I will stop writing. I will then spend about as much time and then some not writing.
Don’t believe me?
Feel free to look back in the bombshell archives.
I’ll wait here.
Feel better now?
Or did you just take my word for it?
Or maybe you are a rare individual and a very good friend who has stuck it out with me and have really kept in tune with my blog… whether I write or not. If you are…
Then you probably already know that I love you.
Seriously, I do.
In blogging in this daily fashion, I’m not actually sitting down everyday to write. That would be insane. Who has that kind of time? I don’t even though technically as an unemployed bombshell, I seem to have nothing but time. However, I do actually spend it doing other things and living my life in different ways. I can’t be tied to my laptop keyboard, even though I probably could and would if I let myself. But that wouldn’t be the healthiest thing. Plus I do need to find a job that will pay me so I can feel better about chipping in around here… not to mention going back to buying myself pretty things.
I really do miss buying myself pretty things.
You have no idea.
The reason that you have no idea is because I try not to dwell on it. As frivolous as I may appear to be, I can actually be pretty handy in making sure my cel bill is paid on time and budgeting the very little money I have.
Trust me when I say that I have very little, too.
What I do instead is try to dedicate time every 2-3 days and divide my thoughts and experiences into several entries. I schedule them out according to my mood or preference and let them then pop-up as I see fit. When something particularly extraordinary happens, I sometimes sneak in another entry and delay the other scheduled ones. I wonder if any of you truly notice which entries I’ve written at what time. Like… is it noticeable that I’ve written a certain set all at the same time?
Well, it is to me.
But I’ve written them.
I doubt anyone really pays that close attention to any of it.
Or is it all in my head?
While it is easy to then come up with more material this way and not struggle daily with what to share, I do feel that maybe I suffer from deja-vu a whole lot more. I don’t want to tell y’all about something several times. I do try to gather up all the stories and experiences in as few and concise entries as I can. It may not entirely feel that way to me because I’ve not only written out the entries a few days ago, but I come back to edit them before they come up on the schedule. Then I have to be conscious on what is up on my blog and tweet accordingly. I therefore seem to relive my entry a couple of times. So it feels a little like I’m repeating myself.
Then I worry that I’m not doing enough interesting things. Perhaps I’m not. I hate to break it to y’all but I’m not entirely that interesting. Hence why my blog is not just some daily recounting of what I do each and every day. That would get boring and old real quick, I know. Still, I have been blogging for years now. I also have to keep in mind the things I’ve written in that time. Some of my entries seem to be classics and get a lot of views still. So I do want to highlight some of the things I’ve mentioned… perhaps even update my view of them as time goes by.
It then becomes very convoluted when I seriously believe I have blogged about something. Y’all have no idea how frustrating it can be. I’m just glad that I second guess my memory and verify within my posts and archives. If not I think I would be more stumped than I already am.
Has anyone else felt like this?