I have put this off for long enough.
As most of y’all know from my tweet last week-ish, Mr. Land and I broke up. I turned off my twitter updates to my phone when I sent out that tweet and didn’t turn it on again until yesterday. I guess I just wanted to turn off the noise. I wanted to turn off having to explain it all while it was still raw. So I didn’t tell anyone for at least a day. When I finally did tell the Stalker, it was just a single text while I was at work and even afterwards I didn’t talk much about it. It was still days later that I even mentioned it in the single tweet.
What could I say to everyone?
What does anyone ever say after break-ups?
Instead I isolated the feelings of loss and disappointment and kept on blogging. I had to keep on writing. I knew myself well enough that if I dwelled on the subject and allowed myself to have a pity party, I would just drown in the melancholy. So I focused on my blog and my work. I got an insane amount of overtime in last week because of it. I refused to let this get in the way of my blogging every day. Sure, I do not believe any of y’all would blame me for wanting to take a bit of time for myself. Considering my blogging track record, I knew I could not just say that I’d not blog one day and catch up tomorrow.
If I had, months could have swept by me.
So I apologize if my tweets have been few and far between. I know many of you are ready and willing to be the ear should I need it. But even as I write this, I had planned to explain far more about the situation and find that I don’t entirely care to.
I will say this, however.
It happened because he was being fair to me.
I deserve the best.
I deserve love and happiness.
I deserve someone who can spoil me just a little.
He deserves to sort himself out and focus on getting himself on stable ground in life.
It’s what I came to Arkansas for.
And I intend to continue doing it. The appropriate revision of my life has already taken place in my brain. Now all I need to do it apply it little by little.
That is all I feel I wish to say on the matter.
Always, the leafy bombshell