Lately I have found myself thinking on this Post-a-day 2011 Challenge that I embarked on and how I have miraculously kept myself blogging on a daily basis. But what most seems to be occupying my thoughts about this matter is, while I have been blogging daily for the past 5 months and some odd days, I wonder if I’ve truly said anything through my blog.
Other than I’m scattered…
And perhaps partially deranged.
There have been many words flowing from my fingertips and I would like to think that it makes sense a third of the time. The rest… I can’t help but feel that it fills the space. What I can tell you is that I have been sorely tempted not to blog for a single day and see what I feel.
But then I give myself a mini drama attack.
And let me tell you that this happens almost nightly. Pretty much at the time when I sit down and think to myself “Oh darn, it’s nearly 11pm and I have not blogged. I have no clue what to write about. Maybe I should just not write anything.” Then I turn around and tell myself: “SELF! Why would you go and think something like that? Not blog today? Really? How could you even say that to yourself, self. That is ridiculous and disheartening and…. hmmm maybe I should feed myself chocolate.”
A handful of M&Ms later, I try again and I just take a deep breathe and type away whatever is floating to the top of my brain. This is how my blog works. At least, that’s how it’s been working lately since I spend a whole bunch of time working and overworking and not doing enough new and interesting things to be blogworthy. And yet, I persist and continue to blog about everything and nothing.
Perhaps the bombshell is the Seinfeld of blogs?
As I draw closer to the halfway point of this year and this challenge, I find myself wondering as to what will happen when 2011 is over. Will I choose to blog daily as it’s become such a habit? Will I take a break for an indeterminate amount of time just because I can? Or will I just go back to my more usual style of sporadic posting punctuated by November NaBloPoMo or the string of really interesting events that may yet take place in my life?
Whatever happens, I’m not worrying about it. Still, the thought that maybe I’m just typing a whole lot of words for this year can’t be shaken off as easy as I can shake off other icky thoughts that mess with my vanity. Sure, I know many of you feel its admirable and wish you had the dedication and persistence to blog daily on your own blogs. Its no surprise that many of my blogging friends have not blogged in quite some time.
Perhaps I’m just blogging enough for everybody?
If so, does that mean in 2012 it will be someone else’s turn?